It is probably an event of poor timing to for this post to coincide with International Talk Like a Pirate day, and being the start of the Singaporean GP weekend - a location with piratical connections if them there moving pictures wit that matey Capt'n Jack (not the torchwood version). Thar be a sea of tarmac waiting for the crews as they make landfall at a most magical port crossing the open waters and into the night. During the voyage from Monza there has been some rumblings in the turbulent seas within the paddock, Captain Button has sworn allegiance to his ship o' McLaren swearing that'd fight for them in resurrecting the shambles of a galleon they set afloat this season.
The other matey in a spot of hot water at the moment is First Mate Massa - marooned by the grand Pirate Luca Di Montezemelo - he is looking for a new crew. Jenson nailing his colours to the mast has closed escape from the desert island of unemployment. So Massa has been hailing across the harbour at Lotus, requesting to come aboard and speak to the captain. An opening has appeared on deck since Raikkonen jumped ship to plunder all the rum and ice cream in the Ferrari galley. Thar be a minor problem with First Mate Felipe's dastardly plan, as just off the starboard bow there is a lot landlubbers waiting for their chance at earning their sea legs. The likes of Valsecchi, Vandoorne, Magnussen, could all be sending out bottled messages to request an audience with the captain. On top of that thar be pirates in lesser ships looking to sail under a more prominent flag. Who knows, only time will tell.
For thar be more pressing matters, to be decided under the mechanical lights of the Singapore streets, where the tyrant of the seas remains upon the crows nest looking down as rivals try in vain to mutiny against his dominance. Closest challenger Alonso needs Mr Vettel to pay a visit to Davey Jones' Locker for a couple of weekends to claim the ultimate loot. Perhaps the German Matey needs to be marooned along way from shore, or devious subterfuge up the Red Bull galleon with a little more ballast in the hull to slow 'er down. Alas through the lens o' me spyglass I spy a pivotal weekend in uncertain times.
Yer treasure map
This is only a young visitor to the calendar and in that time has made friends and foes alike, some vilify the track for having a lot of generic corners and some which defy sanity - which typifies street circuits outside of Europe. Over in the Americas, street circuits are defined by 90 degree corners and painfully artificial chicanes yet they still work out alright and can provide some brilliant racing. For the purposes of this argument we're going to ignore the Baltimore track that merely produced pile ups and ages sailing behind the safety car. In Europe our street tracks (not that our little island does them any more) use more flowing windy roads - like Monaco or Pau because that is the topology of the infrastructure.
But I do not fall on the side of those nay-sayers, I am all for the Singaporean circuit, of course there can be some improvements mostly in the final sector between turns 16 and 21. Admittedly that section has been improved by the fact the track turns underneath the grandstand which is a nice feature after turn 18, but in order to fit it in it all seems at little forced to make it happen. But announcements on the run up to the race are promising, we are all aware of the very questionable chicane at turn 10, the one that throws cars into the barrier at the first opportunity. For 2013 that corner has been abolished, replaced by a single higher speed corner - which does seem rather odd considering it was put in place for safety reasons. We all know how much health and safety takes precedence these days, yet here the opposite has taken place, instead an extra layer of those plastic barriers. I reckon at the news a smile of pure joy spread across Maldonado's face, not only will the corner mirror tabac, but will lined with prime fort building materials. The perfect place to launch cannon fire at enemy vessels.
The rest of the lap is fairly decent with overtaking zones fast and slow corners all bounded by concrete walls to punish the slightest of errors. Unlike the walls over here in Europe they are not metal guardrails that require hours of rebuilding after an accident, which is important because GP2 will be making the trip and they have a habit of crashing into things. Things needed delaying in Monaco after a Porsche race ruined the barrier at Massonet - not a problem here. As well as the fact that the track is wider allowing more cars to run two wide without making too much contact, all made safer by the fact that Schumacher isn't here, because that old captain crashed into his fair share of cars in his second wind, most of those being Saubers... Singapore may not be a traditional ribbon of road undulating through a forest, but at night it remains unique and spectacular.
Yar Manifest o' Form
I'll be donning me Pirate hat once more to cast a wary eye upon the roster, and it would seem that Shipmate Sebastian will likely be sailing out into the lead, out and over the horizon not to be seen nor heard from again. Floating listlessly in the wake of Newey's seafaring craftsmanship lies the rest of the fleet, even the sister ship seems to have a few holes in the hull and a smaller sail - a fate that new deckhand Ricciardo will be at the helm of. On the day before the main voyage the two captains of the silver ships may have some early pace, with a chance of taking pole position - but over a longer venture the Red Bulls are the fastest pair in the seven seas. Rum smuggling Raikkonen and the barmy crew aboard Lotus may be in for a strong quest for a points loot, high temperatures and narrow seas suit their vessels. The same could be same for Ferrari where First Mate Massa is requested to stay the course aiding his superiors before being asked to walk the plank. All the while McLaren will be forced to watch it all unfold a ways off the starboard bow.
In the tormented squall that is the mid-field it will be Force India team leading the crusade to plunder points right out from the noses of the bigger crews, Adrian Sutil and ship's parrot Di Resta have always faired well upon these strange tides. Placing open water between themselves and those lagging behind. Sauber have mighty Sea-farer Hulkenberg at the helm surging forth to bride that gap - an outstanding performance at Monza declared his intent. Hurling more than a bottled message across the bows at Lotus looking to sign an accord. Torro Rosso will have the measure of Williams where landlubber Maldonado will be looking to build another fort upon dry land waiting to lay siege to his rivals, and perchance exact revenge upon Marussia's financeer Mr Chilton.
Down in the cold and stagnant doldrums, Caterham have reasserted their dominance over the lowest of territories at the back of the grid, coercing Marussia to walk the lonely plank back down to the final row. Caterham should acquiesce the services of chief officer Kovalainen should flames break out below deck they need to call upon his special expertise on the bay.
These are formidable waters and this latest page in this season's saga will be contested underneath the stars and electrical lamps and between the walls. Perhaps some turbulent weather and mighty storms may be able to turn the tide on this championship.
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