How have things been here at Blog HQ over the intervening time, well, interesting to say the least - I for one have been on a cultural bender as it were. If I was to take in any more culture I think I'd overdose on the stuff - I imagine it would be a wonderful way to die, that and after consumption of a significant amount of chocolate. Although that particular thought is now much darker than it once would have seemed. Anyway back to the culture - the Blog went to a musical, I know that doesn't make sense, the blog does not do musicals. If you can't beat them, and certainly can't join them, the next best option is to disregard their very existence. But this one was rather good, it was about an alternate reality where in 2057, the world is a nuclear wasteland - basically Fallout the musical. However that was not all, the musical was followed up by another cultural venture, I was honoured to be invited along to a session of African drumming and choral singing - not really my thing either but it was also rather good. Almost made me want to find my African drum and have a go, well perhaps it might work out...
All the specifics of the realm of blog HQ aside, that is not the reason why this part of the internet exists, I just like to inject something a little different into the proceedings, after all I am mainly talking to myself here anyway. But because the first race of another very highly anticipated season is less than a fortnight away, if I was capable of excitement I would be completely inundated with the stuff, it is time for another update. The final testing session in Barcelona has been completed and looking at the times and reports, it turns out absolutely no-one knows what is going on...
Back to testing
All of the testing has been completed, and as I stated earlier it has not been too revealing, because if the times are to be believed Red Bull will be in the middle of the pack, Mercedes and Lotus will be winning everything and Ferrari will be somewhere in between - if they can manage to keep their wheels attached. The only thing we can roughly be sure of is that Marussia and Caterham will be at the back of the field and will only be able to see those in front with a long range telescope.
This confusion is being blamed on the tyres once more, because no-one has any idea how they work - except for the fact that they stick the car to the track - even I can manage to figure that stuff out. But the complaint lies in the compounds and how they react to changes in temperature - so on that basis the first few races of the season are going to be as chaotic as they were last time. From this position sitting here in my corner, that sounds like a wonderful idea, handing a bunch of rookies tyres they can't understand and a team who is no further forward is a recipe for complete and utter mayhem. And who doesn't like mayhem.
The mid-field battles between Force India, The Sauber Empire, Torro Rosso and Williams is going to be fascinating - and probably very destructive - considering there may not be too much of a margin to the faster teams, some collateral damage too. On the whole, the start of a new season is full of unknowns and questions but very few actual answers, and Melbourne probably not going to help in clarifying things.
Di Resta has a friend
Up until this point life in the Force India garage was starting to get a little lonely for the Scott, because the team hadn't given him a team-mate. A short shortlist of drivers was taken out to the testing session and finally after much deliberation Adrian Sutil has been announced to return to the team after having beaten up some bloke from the team formerly known as the Renault Squadron in China. The decision was much to the disappointment of the other contender Jules Bianchi, who was beaten to the role.
Interestingly the story doesn't quite finish there, oh no, because at the back of the field trouble had been brewing. Because in the Marussia team, who had become infamous for binning Glock for not being rich enough and hiring a large amount of money under the name of Chilton, had played that card again. In the second seat they had initially released that they would be placing Luis Razia from the GP2 series, because he had some sponsors that had some money Marussia wanted. Unfortunately there was a bit of bother with that in the sense that Razia's sponsors hadn't paid the team and as a result Luis was conveniently not available for testing - and suddenly not available... ever. Leading to one of the shortest careers in recent history. The decision came at a similar time to, Force India making their announcement that left Bianchi without a drive, and probably some money. At the merest hint of money being mentioned every ear on the Marussia pitwall pricked up, and within a matter of days Bianchi was confirmed as a Razia's replacement. What a cruel world we live in.
The final line-up
It has taken a while before I was able to post a final - as it stands now - list of everyone who is going to take part in the first race next weekend:
- Red Bull
- Sebastian Vettel - well considering the German bloke keeps winning so often, it stands to reason to keep him in the team, I suppose.
- Mark Webber - despite not being Helmut Marko's favourite, there is no reason to replace the Australian either.
- McLaren
- Jenson Button - Assumes the effective time lead in a car which has looked quick so far, could be on for a decent season
- One-Stop Perez - In for a significant upgrade from last year's Sauber and in some reports has been tipped as an optimistic title contender... not too sure on that
- Ferrari
- Fernando Alonso - Effectively Ferrari's only driver as the team sees it, but if the car is as fast as it seems, could be a strong title condender instead of Perez.
- Felipe Massa - Despite Ferrari's ideas, does still exist and out of nowhere took the bonus points championship in 2012, can't really do better than that.
- Lotus
- Kimi Raikkonen - Fuelled by ice cream and with the power of not needing to be told all the time, still got lost in Brazil however, Kimi could contend the bonus point title of 2013
- Romain Grosjean - After hitting pretty much everything last season, the frenchman should hope for a less destructive campain this season.
- Mercedes
- Nico Rosberg - The only remaining German in Mercedes as they plan for a slightly less mediocre season and possibly a less flukey win
- Lewis Hamilton - In a move that still makes no sense, has dropped down the field and will probably spend the season frustrated and then hiting people
- Sauber
- Nico Hulkenberg - Following on from an impressive final few races of the season and almost winning the finale - Nico could be in for an interesting season.
- Esteban Gutierrez - You sir are not Kobayashi and the blog is not amused and will enjoy you crashing into things
- Force India
- Paul Di Resta - Had an average season last time concluded the entire season with a crash, but with another strong team-mate, will be in for a challenge
- Adrian Sutil - Verging on the completely erratic from time to time, Sutil has been quick in the past, when not hitting things - the midfield is going to be fun...
- Williams
- Pastor Maldonado - With Pastor, Romain, and Sutil I can foresee many, many safety car interventions and some angry post race ranting.
- Valtteri Bottas - Bottas has been hyped up for some time now, so it will be interesting to see if the Finn is as quick as everyone else from his country.
- Torro Rosso
- Daniel Ricciardo - Aims this season to do something memorable because not too much in Torro Rosso sticks into my failing memory
- Jean-Eric Vergne - With an extra free space in Q1 relegation, might have someone else to get relegated with, probably his team-mate in all reality
- Caterham
- Charles Pic - Almost claimed 10th in the constructors for rivals Marussia, yet replaces the driver who claimed it back for Caterham... take that logic
- Giedo Van Der Garde - You sir are not Kovalainen, the blog is not amused at you either
- Marussia
- Jules Bianchi - Managed to sneak into the last seat on the grid after Razia joined the list of people who are not rich enough, after replacing Glock, who wasn't rich enough either..
- Max Chilton - Only here because he does have money, money his family have used to effectively buy his way all the way up the ladder and onto the F1 grid, I despair... again...
So that pretty much sums it all up, and means I have to start preparations for the first race of the season in Melbourne, not that I shall be going along, or waking up at the unnatural hour of the morning. I have a video to consider working on, with Myria's newest incarnation... not that sort of video... sadly, and that wouldn't be the car either. But before I get lynched, because knowing my luck people will start paying attention to the nonsense I rant on about - I shall reset the points table for the new season and therefore that means this is farewell until next time, a time which is fortunately not too far away...
No comments:
Post a Comment