Right now it's the middle of the morning and this report is going to be rather interesting as I am now slowly feeling the effects of fatigue as I continue the long night stint up with the Le Mans race. So there will very likely be typos and all sorts of spelling errors as at some point I will be writing by hitting my fatigued face off the keyboard, as all the letters blur into one mass of grey and white while the eyes begin to sting with the TV just showing intense lights from the cars in the dark.
But plow on I shall - I will not be defeated by this wall of sleepiness, armed with race snacks and three cans of energy drink left to power my way through the black abyss of night's velvety curtain. Somewhere in my hazy vision a qualifying session did take place through the delayed virtue of the magical portal that is the iPlayer. So even though I was out lending a hand behind the scenes at the greatest theatrical group on the surface of the planet - well the junior division of said group - I saw what happened. Can I remember any of it however is a different matter.
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| Credit to F1Fanatic.co.uk for the image |
Qualifying
While the safety car was out at Le Mans when another Audi reduced itself to it's component parts annihilating the barrier in the process fortunately driver was unscathed barring a minor cut from the impact - there was the opportunity to check up on the F1 phase of the weekend.
The green fuzzy looking blob at the end of the pit lane shaped blur activated for the start of Q1 - and a few moments of refocussing later things took a little more shape. It became clear that the first shapes coming down the pit-lane were the two Virgin racing cars, and with my fuzzy vision One-stop Perez started looking a lot like a rather older Spaniard. My vision was not deceiving me and One-stop had been replaced by Pedro De La Rosa who was fired by the team last year - as Sergio was still feeling a little sick from the accident in Monaco despite being cleared to race.
McLaren entered the session with a high downforce setting preparing for a possible wet race tomorrow - or later on today as it now is. Life out front were fairly simple with Red Bull, Ferrari and McLaren even with the alternate setup not having a problem setting a fast enough time to make it through. The fight to avoid relegation was between Sauber and Torro Rosso with Lotus not too far behind waiting to pounce if one of the others messed things up. One-Stop Perez version 2 brushed the wall releasing a massive spark of wheel rim on concrete but the car remained unaffected, while managing to find enough speed to save his session. Team-mate Kobayashi joined Perez 2.0 by jumping the Sauber into 14th, and as a result Alguesuari was bumped out of the session. At the end of the session Trulli made out-qualified Heikki for the first time this year so slight change of order at that end of the spectum.
With the default 6 cars and Jaimie removed - and D'Ambrosio outside the 107% so up to the stewards to determine if he will start - it was onto the next session and even less of that sank in during my sleepless state. At the top of the time sheets the Red Bull drivers were trading fastest lap before Vettel claimed final domination of the charts setting a new lap record in the process. This didn't sit too well with a red fuzzy mass which timing assured me was Massa's Ferrari - who found some more pace and plonked the blob at the top of the blurred list of numbers.
Bugger - just dropped my earphone in my tea - so now have an earful of cold tea and I'm peering towards the bag of race snack, pretzels time methinks.
...Anyway where was I, ah yes. Di Resta was the closest to piercing the blockade that is the top 10 in his orangey looking splodge but fell short of the cut off point by four tenths. The Renault Squadron were in rear gunner mode in 9th and 10th Vitaly ahead of Nick, and no-one was gaining entry into the final section of qualifying. Naturally Kamui wasn't intent on giving up on the session and threw everything the Sauber could give at it - running off at turn 9, and finishing with a fantastic drift in near the wall of champions. This confined everyone outside the top 5 teams into the darkened depths of relegation with Williams, Sauber and Force India knocked out with the remaining STR of Buemi.
Things rolled seamlessly into Q3, but by this point an albino elephant could have stormed into the room and I wouldn't have noticed - and based on what the siblings have done to this room the aftermath wouldn't be too dissimilar either. Ann the television is still a wash with yellow and while blinding lights - the commentators have disassembled an alarm and thrown it over the balcony, so lack of energy drinks there. But back to the qualifying thingy - unlike previous races all of the main contenders went to the track at the same time. Now either by this point every one had become a sleep induced blurry mass or they were taking to the circuit to avoid being caught out by a red flag which had been frequent in practice.
As per the form book Vettel was the man to beat setting a staggering time of a 1:13.014 a new lap record and proved to be an unbeatable benchmark. McLaren were struggling the wet wing setting crippling their speed and hurting their times, but gambling on a wet race later today. Or at the rate this post is being written the race has probably finished three weeks ago and my tea has gotten really cold. With McLaren out of the picture in this session Ferrari took the fight to the Red Bull team - Alonso coming within two tenths of Vettel and Massa 0.18 behind him. Webber was without KERS again in his Red Bull - and somewhere in the garage Adrian Newey will be beating KERS system and shouting a lot - was demoted to fourth.
...And now there is an Ant on my screen where on earth has that come from....but anyway.
Renault Squadron held station as rear gunners for the top ten but inverted their flying formation shifting Heidfeld to the top of the queue....Where's that ant gone? Mercedes were mixing with the slowed McLarens with Rosberg and Hamilton - who seems less grumpy this weekend after realising what a moron he was in Monaco - were the victors of their more experienced team-mates. But no-one was going to usurp Vettel who went onto take yet another pole position - but he's not getting a bonus point for that far too repetitive...
The Official Bonus Points Championship points winners
Even though I have the sleep deprived mental capacity of a shed at the moment and there is a chance I may end up giving a bonus point to the nearest cat this part of the evening/morning or whenever it is now. It's dark and the tele is just a bunch of lights whizzing around in the dark where a Lotus has gone missing in the night somewhere possibly kidnapped by elves who knows. But mythical Lotus stealing armies aside now onto the points allocations
- Jarno Trulli - For finally beating Heikki in qualifying
- Felippe Massa - For being much closer to Alonso then usual
- One-Stop Perez 2.0 - For being thrown into the car at the last moment and only being .3 behind Kamui
- Kobayashi - For a fantastic slide in the final chicane, in my tired state that was worth noticing
- Bob the cat: For being the closest cat
- Audi Racing team: For making strong cars that have suffered huge accidents at Le Mans today
- Shoestring Theare Company: For being epic over the night - 10 bonus points
I know I've given more than the usual five but it's a special weekend and after all it's my championship and I control the rules - oh the power I have - cue evil laugh.
The race thing later on
Well with the threat of rain on the cards things could get very interesting indeed and we could see the first wet race of the season. McLaren could have played things right and could be in good shape for the race on a track where overtaking is possible even when DRS is turned off in the wet. In any weather state Red Bull will be strong and very hard to beat because of the inherent high downforce of the vehicle will set them up well in the rain.
And the safety car is out at Le Mans again - #13 in the wall - but nowhere near as much damage as the Audi crashes.
Anyway. Canada does encourage safety cars and carnage so as like in Monaco some strong strategy mixed with catching the yellows at the right time can allow a Mid feild car up into the FIA assigned points or even more importantly Bonus points. Whether I'll be awake enough to understand any of it is a different matter I have saved enough energy drinks to see the race and make readable notes but whether it will help is a whole new kettle of piranhas. So I'm looking forward to what is only a few hours away which could easily be a race to surpass what was an amazing event in Monaco.
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